Thursday, June 13, 2013

Definition of a Father

fa·ther  (fär)n.
a. A male person who contributes to the conception of a child.
b. A man who adopts a child.
c. A man who raises a child.

Warren, COTA Foster Dad
Children of the Americas routinely touts the benefits, joys, trials and tribulations of fostering the children in our program who come to the states for medical care. It is not an easy job to enter into a long-term relationship with a sick child from Guatemala who speaks no English, is homesick, may be malnourished and will have medical care issues. Our accolades for this challenging job tend to go to the foster mothers. In honor of Father's Day, we are reversing the familiar ditty, by claiming that behind every good woman, is a great man.
Henry, COTA Foster Dad
There is something that happens in the heart of a woman when she feels the need to foster a child. That "something" is different for each person who takes this job on.
It may be an empty nest. Or no nest. It might simply be the need to assist a Guatemalan mother who needs help for her child.  The glimmer of an idea becomes a nudge that leads to a call to COTA volunteers and if the there is a need, a child finds a sanctuary in a foster home that leads to restored health.
Mike with foster daughter
None of this would be possible without the consent of an understanding husband who is willing to be second-best while the household revolves around the needs of a sick child.  
 Amazingly, 114 men have said "yes" when their wife uttered the words "Honey, we need to talk."
These men have agreed to long drives to airports, clinics, and hospitals. Our COTA foster fathers gave up timely meals, or sometimes any meal at all. They have shared disposable income, time with their wives, and days off of work. These foster fathers add sick children to family vacations, to carpools and to homework schedules. They worry, keep bedside vigil and change surgical dressings like a pro. Many of them agree to foster more than one sick child over a period of years. These men are fathers in every sense of the word. The best of the best. 
Vince, with COTA Foster Child

One of the most common misconceptions about our program is that our foster parents and board members get paid for our work. Our foster fathers do get paid, but not with money. Instead, their fortune is earned through experiencing the repair of a cleft lip, or the ability of a child's ability to walk again. These men understand that the intrinsic rewards of stepping up to meet a significant and worthwhile need are the best fortunes. In our organization, we  think there should be a new dictionary definition to the word father. For COTA purposes, the definition should read as follows: 
   fa·ther  (fär): one who agrees to take a sick child into his heart and home, only to have to return that child to the biological mother upon recovery. A man who is willing 
 to sacrifice for a child who is not his own. 

Happy Father's Day to our COTA Foster Fathers.
You have made the world a better place in every sense of the word.




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